‘On the Buses’ was an English comedy series from the 1970s and one of my all time favourites.
But I was inspired to write this English lesson as a result of one experience which happened to me in England a few years ago.
Bus Companies certainly come up with some amusing and curious rules on their transportation.
Here are just a sample:
Anyone not wearing appropriate attire will be refused a ride even if they have paid or offered the correct fare.
Every passenger must buy a ticket in order to ride on the bus. If you lose your ticket during the journey, you should approach the driver and buy another one.
The driver has the right to refuse entry onto the bus if anyone does not pay the correct fare or looks as if they could be a threat or harrassment to other passengers.
Passengers should not stay in the bus shelter for longer than thirty minutes and should check the timetable to know the time of the next bus.
Anyone who does not stand in line in the queue at the bus stop or who tries to get on the bus before the bus has stopped will be denied the right to buy a ticket and travel on the bus.
The bus is not equipped with toilets. Anyone who displays a call of nature and must urinate or breaks wind will be asked to get off the bus immediately.
No singing aloud is allowed on the bus at any time. That goes for little children, anyone fresh out of church on a Sunday or returning from watching their sports team win a match.
Any couples caught cavorting will be asked to leave the bus at the next stop.
Anyone caught sleeping on the bus or using their mobile phone device to make a telephone call will also be asked to leave the bus at the next stop.
If you use this bus service regularly as a single-fare paying passenger, you will be likely be questioned by the bus driver why you do not have a bus pass.
This bus service operates in England. Even if you the passenger believe that the bus driver can speak another language besides English, under no circumstances should anyone board the bus and speak to the driver in another language other than English.
The bus driver only takes cash as means to pay for the bus ride unless the passenger has already acquired a bus pass. Do not render a debit or credit card or accept a bribe.
A fare paying passenger has the right to complain about another either boarding or travelling on the bus such as a pregnant woman, a woman breast-feeding a baby, a young mischievous child or someone wearing religious clothing which gives cause for discomfort over and above the norm.
The complaint extends to anyone eating or drinking something which has a nauseating smell to the discomfort of other passengers.
A passenger should only attempt to alight from the bus after pressing the bell.
The bus driver will not stop for a passenger wishing to alight if the red button bell has not been pressed.
A passenger should be able to read the terms and conditions displayed for the bus ride.
It is no excuse if the passenger is blind, infirm, just plain stupid or cannot read.
Passengers should be fit and of good constitution to travel on the bus.
Welcome to England and enjoy the bus ride!